Thursday, June 20, 2013

Amazing Discovery!

Civil Engineer Creates  Amazing Labor-Saving Idea!

(Special Advertising Section)

Housewives everywhere have been quietly following this new and innovative trend, and now

MIRACLE IDEA! Say goodbye to tedious hours of housework spent on rug cleaning! Long-use HEPA filters were a good idea in their time, for saving money over disposable bags and clearing the dust from the air, but as housewives and housekeepers quickly realized, it was TEDIOUS to clean them! Dumping the dirt, knocking out the dust, rinsing off the foam sleeves... There HAD to be a BETTER WAY!

Now, Dr. Cork "Clean-it" Faubel has announced his new Breakthrough Incredible MIRACLE Labor-saving idea!

Dr. Cork explains his IDEA:
"I needed to vacuum, and was confused about the operation of the machine. It did not resemble any of the sharp manly power tools I'm used to handling with one hand tied behind my back and my eyes shut! But I really needed to use the device, and so, with one hand behind my back and my eyes shut, I positioned it, turned it on and began to move it around."

Dr. Cork continues:
"Something didn't quite look right as I operated it, but I didn't quite realize the stroke of serendipity I'd created until I read my wife's instructions on how to install the cup and filter system. At the time, she was still using the time-sucking 'filter cleaning, cup dumping' system. And then I realized, I DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN OUT THE FILTER! I'd instantly gained at least 15 minutes in my day. 

More from Dr. Cork:
"I thought about that FREE fifteen minutes I now had. I could drink a bottle of GINGER-ALE while putting my feet up! I could check FACEBOOK! I could read my COMICS! I could eat a bowl of TORTILLA CHIPS while checking my news feed! In fact I was so excited that I used up the time just by thinking about what I could do with it. But that's ok, because now I know that I can use my MIRACLE Labor-Saving FANTASTIC idea any time I want, gaining a FREE fifteen minutes with EACH USE!!!

SCIENTISTS have taken note. They have asked Dr. Cork, WHERE, exactly, does the dirt and pet hair GO after using this LABOR-SAVING idea? Dr. Cork's answer? He shrugs:
"I don't know. All I know is that the dirt isn't where I didn't want it a minute ago.'

Dr. Cork elaborates:
"Some folks have compared this operation to what you'd get with a snowblower, and I can see that, though I haven't had that experience myself. Again, just like with a snowblower, you have cleared the area in question, which is a fully-qualified YES for an endorsement on this WONDERFUL idea!"

HOW can you benefit from this GROUNDBREAKING idea? For complete instructions, just send ONLY .99 cents (plus $9.99 S&H)  to Dr. Cork, in care of this blog.



  1. This was absoutely hilarious.

  2. Thank you. I wasn't sure if people might have thought I was taking advantage of his moment, but he really is a good sport about these things.

  3. Thank you. I wasn't sure if people might have thought I was taking advantage of his moment, but he really is a good sport about these things.