Friday, May 6, 2011

When All Hell Breaks Loose

What will you do when all Hell breaks loose? Will you freak? Will you cry for your mommy? Will you follow the lemmings off the cliff? Or will you hunker down and eat whatever you have to, to survive?
I have a pretty strong survival instinct. I am good at imagining disastrous scenarios and the kits that should be prepared to experience them. I am also pretty good at improvising.

For example:
You have taken a drive out in the mountains. It's lovely, and you are thoroughly enjoying the scenery. Suddenly you realize how badly you want a cup of coffee! In fact, it becomes all you can think of, and you are even getting a little sleepy and wish you had the caffeine. No problem! Because you Are Prepared, you have stashed a few Starbucks Via packets in your console kit. Of course you have 4 stainless steel bottles of water in the back seat because you never go anywhere without a day's supply. You have a couple Sierra Cups also tucked away under the seat. Oops! No heat. No problem! Because you are also prepared to fight germs, you have a bottle of Purell in the console. You squirt a pile of Purell in one cup and light it off (you DO have matches or a lighter, right?), make up your coffee in the the other cup, and then you hold your coffee cup above the blue flame until it's hot enough.

Well, if you are the type of person who really can imagine this happening, then have I got a book for you. When All Hell Breaks Loose, by Cody Lundin.

It is totally packed full of the best ideas and practical solutions for surviving during a catastrophe. I love it how he doesn't squirm around and pretty up the words needed to get his advice across. He's not vulgar, just plain spoken in a way you can't misunderstand what he's talking about, from making emergency toilets to eating rodents. And that's where Food Adventures enters in!

Mice are Nice
(and here, I quote)
Mice can be put directly onto the coals of a fire whole... The heat from the coals will singe off the fur, but it will take some rubbing with a stick... to get off all the hair. Singed hair would make a T-bone taste awful so do a good job. If after the singeing process you think skinning is easier, be my guest. The skin will peel right off after precooking in the coals.

As the hair is being singed, the mouse will start to bloat up from the heat. Take this opportunity to scrape lightly at its abdominal cavity with something or gently tear it open with your fingers. At this time, most of the guts should begin to pop out of the opening you created. Near the end of the intestines, you will clearly see mouse t*rds headng toward the an*s. Get rid of all this stuff, but the heart, lungs, and almost everything else up near the head and middle of the body is good eating.

Once the mouse has been gutted and the hair singed, it's time to cook it on the coals. I like to cook them until they're between crispy and chewy, turning as necessary. Don't under cook them, but don't turn them into a piece of charcoal either form over cooking.

There are three bites to a mouse, the middle and rear being the best (in my opinion)... The head isn't bad, but eat it hot, as mouse brains suck when they're cold.

And I unquote.

If you read this book, you might be tempted to give up during the first 60 pages. That's where he's putting forth his philosophies on being prepared. Of course YOU don't need this; you already have that point of view, otherwise why would you be reading it? Just skim this part and you'll be rewarded with the rest of this fascinating and very practical book on being prepared for just about anything!

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